Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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