More tranny stories later!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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