miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize