I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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