people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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