The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
