when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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