I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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