I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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