I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
