Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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