I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
