is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
