nut hugger
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
