What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
