you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize