All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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