I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
