yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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