3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
