Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
