Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
