Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I have tasted many bathrooms
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
