one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Sext me about skeletons
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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