I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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