I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
