We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
