ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
