I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize