just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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