I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
