You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
