she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
