Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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