so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
