I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize