i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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