Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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