Where is the hickey?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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