I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
