haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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