As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
