I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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