No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
