Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
