he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This is the high leading the old right now
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
