Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
