some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
