Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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