Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
