They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
