Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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