Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
