Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
