When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
FUCK WHALES
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
