My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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