I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Randomize
