Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
