Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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