The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
