good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
