Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you inspire me to be a worse person
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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