If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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